Jokes

This page has jokes about music written by you!!

Simply write your joke into the comment box below and send it to me (jokes about music only please!). If I like your joke it will appear in the comments below.

I will start the page off with one of my own jokes. Your jokes will follow on from this.

One last thing: Kids, please make sure you check with your parents or teacher before sending me a joke!

{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Malcolm Pullan 25th January 2010

Q: Why do musicians have to spend so much time learning how to count?
A: Because they can only get up to about 4, and then they have to start all over again: 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4…!!

2 Tony Edmonds 28th January 2010

This is a mandolin player’s joke:

Q: How do you annoy a banjo player?
A: Detune one of his strings but don’t tell him which one!

And now one to annoy jazz musicians:

Q: How many Jazz trumpeters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Seven. One to do it and the other six to stand around and say how they could have done it better.

And finally……why not see how far you can extend this story…

A musician walked into a bar for a rest, took a note and quavered before feeling crotchety…(over to you)

3 Alice Barber 28th January 2010

What did the doctor say to the minim with a broken leg?
You need a crochet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4 Rosie Barber 28th January 2010

Why was the musician arrested?
He was always getting into treble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5 Penny 1st February 2010

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.

Here’s another one:

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.

These plus a whole load more are here:
http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes

6 Malcolm Pullan 3rd February 2010

Very well then! What do you get if your drop a piano in an army base?
A sharp major!

7 Clare Bryden 8th February 2010

OK then, how do you get a viola player to play tremolo?
Write ‘solo’ in the score!

What’s the difference between the front and the back of the viola section?
About half a bar and a tone.

And what’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!

8 Rachel 10th March 2010

Why do musicians hate fish?
There are too many scales.

What do musicians and sheep have in common?
They make noise one baa(r) at a time.

9 bob tank 1st February 2012

I like rosies and rachels jokies there acually funny

10 bob tank 1st February 2012

And malcioms

11 Erin 3rd March 2012

I really enjoyed Rachel’s jokes they were the best so far’!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
Erin aged 11
Xxxxxx

12 E.I.S 30th March 2012

Q:what did the music teacher say to the 2 students that would not work together?
A:Duet!

13 Nanobob 30th June 2012

A selection of viola jokes:

1.How do you prevent your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.

2.What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
Nobody cries when you cut up a viola.

3.How is lightning like a viola player’s fingers?
Neither strikes the same place twice.

4.Why do viola players stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.

5. What’s the difference between a viola and a violin?
A viola burns for longer.

Sorry to any viola players out there -I think these jokes are funny but I actually prefer violas to violins!

14 parishi 31st July 2012

cooooooooooooooool

15 kavya phophalia 31st July 2012

smashingly good

16 doublevision96 12th September 2012

What’s Beethoven doing this halloween? Decomposing!

Why couldn’t the trombone player’s son play on the playground? He couldn’t use the slide and he didn’t know how to swing! (sorry, trombone players:)

17 T-Wu 30th September 2012

Q. Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens?
A. They kept saying “BACH BACH BACH!”
HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!

18 Malcolm Pullan 30th September 2012

I like this one! It really made me laugh. 🙂

19 Tevita Sekeni 22nd October 2012

This one is very funny:
Q:How do you get a guitarist to play slower?
A: put music in front of him

Q:How long does a harp stay in tune?
A:about 20mins or until someone opens a door

hahahahhahaha..lol

20 riley 1st November 2012

How would a skeleton play the flute? He dosent have the guts.

21 Hannah 6th November 2012

NOCK NOCK WHOS THERE
ITS QUAVER QUAVER WHO
DONT EAT HIM HE IS A NOTE

Sorry not a very funny one but its still a joke 🙂

22 Kimberly 22nd November 2012

What do you call two oboes playing in unison?
A minor third!

23 Gen R 7th January 2013

What do instrument do musicians like to play in the bathroom?
The PEE-ano!

24 Marcel 9th January 2013

Q: what did Rihanna do when the orchestra stopped playing music?
A: She said keep playing and sang please don’t stop the music music

25 Alfie Donkin 21st January 2013

i made this one up:

Q) What did Mozart say to the orchestra that raided his house?

A) BACH, BACH, BACH!!
(back, back, back!!)

26 max galm 28th February 2013

What is a teacher’s favorite music— (CLASS) ICAL

What is an Archaeologists favorite music— (ROCK)

27 Riley Ludwig 4th March 2013

What’s the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
1. Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
2. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don’t return it.
3. The grip.

28 Leslie Baddecker 6th March 2013

How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue!

29 Jan Fish 4th April 2013

Who sat on the SoFa? Mi!!

30 Kim J. 12th April 2013

Here’s one for violas:
Why are viola jokes so short?
So the violinists can remember them!

31 aamenah 5th May 2013

here’s one for violins
whats the difference between violins and violas?
there is no difference.the violins just look smaller because the violinists head is so much bigger

32 archi 5th May 2013

whats the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
a fiddle is fun to listen to!

33 Sierra Oswald 22nd January 2014

Q, How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

A, ‘Oops I broke it’

34 Sierra Oswald 22nd January 2014

Q, Why do musicians hate fish?

A, because it has too many scales!

35 Sierra Oswald 5th February 2014

Q;why do humming birds hum

A; because they forget the words

36 Sheree R. Cole 7th February 2014

How does the music player play at a concert?
A lot of Practice or Treble to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

37 Sheree R. Cole 7th February 2014

Q; Why do dogs howl to songs?
A; Because they don’t know how to sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

38 Brogan and Leannes fun jokes 18th February 2014

Which political party did the musician support?
A: the conservataries

39 sarah murray 24th February 2014

Q: How is a fiddle different from a violin?
A: You play it in the country!
(from my violin student, Faith)

40 Zahra 18th May 2014

Knock Knock
Whose there?
Vio
Vio who?
It’s me Vio Lin

LOL! Get it Vio+lin=Violin

41 camille willard 19th June 2014

what type of insrument is also a bone?

a tromBONE!

42 lillianne 3rd September 2014

what type of instrument is named after a boy named Tom?

A TOM-BONE!

43 Ian Zhang 15th October 2014

Q. What did the music note take note of?
A. Himself, of course!!!

44 Claire 21st October 2014

If it ain’t Baroque, dont fix it

45 Popcornlover 23rd October 2014

Question:What music do rocks like to listen to???
Answer:rock

46 kj 13th December 2014

why did mozart get rid of his chickens?They kept on saying BACH! BACH! BACH! BACH! BACH!

47 devangodbee 30th January 2015

What did the bass clef say to the treble youre a trouble

48 katie 22nd March 2015

This ones a riddle,
I’m held in your hand, and sometimes I’m round.
I need you to shake me or I won’t make a sound.
I jingle and jangle with small metal pieces.
When you leave me alone, my melody ceases.
I’m a ________________.

,

49 Ivy 26th May 2015

This one is for all of the cellos and basses

Q: What did the bass player say to the cello player during rehearsals?
A: You better practice or you’ll be in treble
……
Q: What happens when a bassist gets sick?
A: They BASSically sleep all day

50 Julia Babb 13th June 2015

Q: why did the music students get in trouble?
A: because the were passing notes.

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