This page has jokes about music written by you!!

Simply write your joke into the comment box below and send it to me (jokes about music only please!). If I like your joke it will appear in the comments below.

I will start the page off with one of my own jokes. Your jokes will follow on from this.

One last thing: Kids, please make sure you check with your parents or teacher before sending me a joke!

84 Comments

  1. Q: Why do musicians have to spend so much time learning how to count?
    A: Because they can only get up to about 4, and then they have to start all over again: 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4…!!

  2. This is a mandolin player’s joke:

    Q: How do you annoy a banjo player?
    A: Detune one of his strings but don’t tell him which one!

    And now one to annoy jazz musicians:

    Q: How many Jazz trumpeters does it take to change a lightbulb?
    A: Seven. One to do it and the other six to stand around and say how they could have done it better.

    And finally……why not see how far you can extend this story…

    A musician walked into a bar for a rest, took a note and quavered before feeling crotchety…(over to you)

  3. What did the doctor say to the minim with a broken leg?
    You need a crochet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Why was the musician arrested?
    He was always getting into treble!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
    A flat minor.

    Here’s another one:

    What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
    A flat major.

    These plus a whole load more are here:
    http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes

  6. Very well then! What do you get if your drop a piano in an army base?
    A sharp major!

  7. OK then, how do you get a viola player to play tremolo?
    Write ‘solo’ in the score!

    What’s the difference between the front and the back of the viola section?
    About half a bar and a tone.

    And what’s the difference between a viola and a trampoline?
    You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline!

  8. Why do musicians hate fish?
    There are too many scales.

    What do musicians and sheep have in common?
    They make noise one baa(r) at a time.

  9. I like rosies and rachels jokies there acually funny

  10. And malcioms

  11. I really enjoyed Rachel’s jokes they were the best so far’!!!!!!!!!!!!!,
    Erin aged 11
    Xxxxxx

  12. Q:what did the music teacher say to the 2 students that would not work together?
    A:Duet!

  13. A selection of viola jokes:

    1.How do you prevent your violin from being stolen?
    Put it in a viola case.

    2.What’s the difference between a viola and an onion?
    Nobody cries when you cut up a viola.

    3.How is lightning like a viola player’s fingers?
    Neither strikes the same place twice.

    4.Why do viola players stand for long periods outside people’s houses?
    They can’t find the key and they don’t know when to come in.

    5. What’s the difference between a viola and a violin?
    A viola burns for longer.

    Sorry to any viola players out there -I think these jokes are funny but I actually prefer violas to violins!

  14. cooooooooooooooool

  15. smashingly good

  16. What’s Beethoven doing this halloween? Decomposing!

    Why couldn’t the trombone player’s son play on the playground? He couldn’t use the slide and he didn’t know how to swing! (sorry, trombone players:)

  17. Q. Why did Mozart get rid of all his chickens?
    A. They kept saying “BACH BACH BACH!”
    HAR HAR HAR!!!!!!!

  18. I like this one! It really made me laugh. 🙂

  19. This one is very funny:
    Q:How do you get a guitarist to play slower?
    A: put music in front of him

    Q:How long does a harp stay in tune?
    A:about 20mins or until someone opens a door

    hahahahhahaha..lol

  20. How would a skeleton play the flute? He dosent have the guts.

  21. NOCK NOCK WHOS THERE
    ITS QUAVER QUAVER WHO
    DONT EAT HIM HE IS A NOTE

    Sorry not a very funny one but its still a joke 🙂

  22. What do you call two oboes playing in unison?
    A minor third!

  23. What do instrument do musicians like to play in the bathroom?
    The PEE-ano!

  24. Q: what did Rihanna do when the orchestra stopped playing music?
    A: She said keep playing and sang please don’t stop the music music

  25. i made this one up:

    Q) What did Mozart say to the orchestra that raided his house?

    A) BACH, BACH, BACH!!
    (back, back, back!!)

  26. What is a teacher’s favorite music— (CLASS) ICAL

    What is an Archaeologists favorite music— (ROCK)

  27. What’s the difference between a saxophone and a lawn mower?
    1. Lawn mowers sound better in small ensembles.
    2. The neighbors are upset if you borrow a lawnmower and don’t return it.
    3. The grip.

  28. How do you fix a broken tuba?
    With a tuba glue!

  29. Who sat on the SoFa? Mi!!

  30. Here’s one for violas:
    Why are viola jokes so short?
    So the violinists can remember them!

  31. here’s one for violins
    whats the difference between violins and violas?
    there is no difference.the violins just look smaller because the violinists head is so much bigger

  32. whats the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
    a fiddle is fun to listen to!

  33. Q, How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

    A, ‘Oops I broke it’

  34. Q, Why do musicians hate fish?

    A, because it has too many scales!

  35. Q;why do humming birds hum

    A; because they forget the words

  36. How does the music player play at a concert?
    A lot of Practice or Treble to you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. Q; Why do dogs howl to songs?
    A; Because they don’t know how to sing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  38. Which political party did the musician support?
    A: the conservataries

  39. Q: How is a fiddle different from a violin?
    A: You play it in the country!
    (from my violin student, Faith)

  40. Knock Knock
    Whose there?
    Vio
    Vio who?
    It’s me Vio Lin

    LOL! Get it Vio+lin=Violin

  41. what type of insrument is also a bone?

    a tromBONE!

  42. what type of instrument is named after a boy named Tom?

    A TOM-BONE!

  43. Q. What did the music note take note of?
    A. Himself, of course!!!

  44. If it ain’t Baroque, dont fix it

  45. Question:What music do rocks like to listen to???
    Answer:rock

  46. why did mozart get rid of his chickens?They kept on saying BACH! BACH! BACH! BACH! BACH!

  47. What did the bass clef say to the treble youre a trouble

  48. This ones a riddle,
    I’m held in your hand, and sometimes I’m round.
    I need you to shake me or I won’t make a sound.
    I jingle and jangle with small metal pieces.
    When you leave me alone, my melody ceases.
    I’m a ________________.

    ,

  49. This one is for all of the cellos and basses

    Q: What did the bass player say to the cello player during rehearsals?
    A: You better practice or you’ll be in treble
    ……
    Q: What happens when a bassist gets sick?
    A: They BASSically sleep all day

  50. Q: why did the music students get in trouble?
    A: because the were passing notes.

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